“A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.” Proverbs 15:13
”A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22
What is a Wounded… Broken Heart?
Jamie is devastated by the abrupt ending of her 23 year marriage.
Mark is depressed because he was passed over for the promotion he earned.
Carol and Jim are grieving the loss of their young child to cancer.
Leesa is finally beginning to face the pain from the abuse she suffered as a child.
“My heart is broken by bitter words, I am full of grief; I made a search
for some to have pity on me, but there was no one; I had no comforter.” Psalm 69:20 BBE
“For I am afflicted and needy, And my heart is wounded within me.” Psalm 109:22 NASB
When life circumstances… or if others reject us and/or belittle us… or when a choice we make… results in a painful loss to ourselves and/or someone we care about, a Sad, Wounded, Broken or Crushed spirit (mind-set) can overwhelm our perspectives about life. Often we become consumed with ourselves, our needs, our losses, our emotions… and negative thinking dominates our minds. (Note: Original source for statements in box below unknown.)
| Seeing ourselves
as deficient and unworthy. |
Seeing the world
as frustrating and un-fulfilling. |
Seeing the
future as hopeless. |
Steps to Freedom and Healing
- Affirm that you have received the unconditional forgiveness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for any choices or actions you did that contributed to your broken heart. Reject self-condemnation and shame.
“…He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt… which was hostile to us; and He has… nailed it to the cross.” Col 2:13-14
- Verbally affirm the gift of your unconditional righteousness and personal worth as a new creation.
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
“…Put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” Ephesians 4:24
- Honestly acknowledge and write out in specific detail the event or series of events that wounded your heart. Examples from the Bible:
“…Our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life…” 2 Corinthians 1:8
“…You endured a great conflict of sufferings… being made a public spectacle through reproaches and tribulations… accepted joyfully the seizure of your property…” Hebrews 10:32
- Honestly embrace and write out the emotional pain and the personal losses that these events created in your life. Be specific and detailed. Generalities tend to gloss over the real underlying griefs. Examples:
“…Afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed… conflicts without, fears within…depressed…” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9; 7:5-6
“…With weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties…” 2 Corinthians 12:10
- 5. Specifically surrender each painful detail, emotional wound, and specific loss to God through prayer and worship. By faith give thanks to God for each event and loss. Prayerfully release your pain to God asking God to heal your wounds. Prayerfully receive God’s healing in exchange for your pain and losses.
“Draw near… to the throne of grace… to… receive mercy and help in time of need.” Heb 4:14-16
“In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried to my God for help; He heard my voice…” Psalm 18:6
“…Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
“…To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing…” 1 Peter 4:13
“In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1Thess. 5:18
“Always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God…” Eph 5:20
- 6. Identify and reject any satanic lies that define you with a negative identity. Reject lies that you have accepted and adopted about God, life, yourself or relationships that continue to reinforce a distorted negative mind-set about yourself, God, life. Reject any false guilt or shame that is attached to the painful events
“It’s all about me thinking (poor me, you won’t listen–don’t understand, it’s my right, it’s not my fault.”
“Fear based thinking that my needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on God or others.
“I am basically a bad, unworthy person.” “No one would love me as I am.”
“I am totally alone in my pain, no-one cares.” “Self-Rejection–Punish me thinking.”
“Bitterness and un-forgiveness of self and others.” “I must fix how I feel thinking.”
“I am a complete failure in life, I have no reason to live.” “Rejection proves I am worthless.”
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8
- Receive and adopt God’s perspective about your worth, circumstances, losses, and God’s plan for your life. Your personal worth is a gift from God. He is working to conform you into the image of Christ.
Remember that you are no longer a sinner saved by grace, but you are now a saint sustained by grace!
Our heavenly Father is not ashamed to identify us as His children. Heb 2:10-13
“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
- Make a faith choice to forgive those who have wounded you.
“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15) “…Forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” (Colossians 3:13)
- Continue to fix your hope on the Grace of God that is being given to you now and in the future.
Note: You may need to work through these steps with the help of a good friend or Christian counselor.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
“The Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction…” 2 Cor 1:3
“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves…” 2 Corinthians 4:7
“Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God…” 2 Corinthians 3:4-6
“After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10
Jamie, Mark, Carol and Jim, and Leesa are slowly and deliberately facing their pain, doing the emotional and rational work necessary to bring God’s healing into their wounded hearts.
Note: Bible quotes from New American Standard Bible ©2019 Copyright Christian Ministry Concepts. All rights reserved.
